Okay, today is my Birthday...I am 27 now, but something happened today that makes me feel like I am 15/16 again...I know it shouldn't bother me like it does, but, it hurts, even if a little. I refuse to let it ruin my day, but I have to vent to people who might care.

I am on FaceBook...I am still fairly new, but have located lots of people on there that were (and still are) friends, but mostly I talk with family. Anyhow, I also found a few people that I knew in Highschool (and considering that I moved LOTS growing up, I rarely let myself grow close enough to people to mourn the loss of their friendship when I moved--but alas I DID make a few "life-long" friends) I was also able to look up people I liked, was only acquainted with, had crushes on or even the people who "wronged" me in some way--just to see how they turned out--pretty vs ugly, ugly ducklings into swans, jock to slob and etc--a silly thing I know, but you always WONDER and having such tools as internet and FaceBook type things gives you an ability that some people 50 years ago really wish they had...well I looked up a guy who I admired all through junior high and highschool, and he accepted me as a friend--send me to cloud nine--as idiotic as that sounds. Somehow I still had notions that he turned out "all right" despite his rise from "dud to stud" starting at 9th grade...let's just say I noticed him before he was EVER "all that" and saw stud potential in him LONG (one WHOLE YEAR)before anyone even knew his NAME!

I am a HAPPILY engaged woman, but it still makes you feel good that someone who was totally out of your league in school, allows that you become a "friend" on something like FaceBook, and considering that he had full access to view my page before pushing the "accept" button, I guess I assumed (yeah, ass-U-me-Duh)that meant he thought I was all right enough to be on his list of "friends". And he's one of the few Jocks who retained a chiseled physique and IS still QUITE hot--eye candy, I can't help but look AND admire HOT people! I said HI to him EVERY day during 8th grade, him with his reading glasses, braces, pimples and scrawny/lanky body--when ALL the girls I talked to about him would say "YUCK, YOU like HIM?!?! EEEWWWEE, he's a pizza faced SHRIMP, you like THAT dork?" Lapse over ONE summer and he gained about 30 lbs of MUSCLE, 3-5 inches in height and basically pulled a Taylor Laughtner (Jacob Black in Twilight/New Moon Movies)and the following school year a whole TON of girls were saying, "OH MY GOSH! WHO IS THAT COMPLETE ADONIS OVER THERE?!?!?!" and when I smugly replied "Carson"...they said, "WHO?", and I said, "Ya know, that "dorky kid" from last year I had a complete crush on ALL year....?"

Anyhow, he always at least ACTED polite and nice to me...but after today either he completely changed; I only remember MY perceptions of our interactions; and/OR he really WAS always an ASS HOLE....who knows. I was sort of a play-toy to a bunch of the "popular" girls in 9th Grade (I LIVED the "She's All That" script), and so I was "allowed" to sit at their table at lunch, invite them to parties (or BE invited) and at times I was able to interact with him, but after his "rise to popularity" everyone always reminded me that he was WAY out of my league...that he preferred HOT hard-bodies, big breasted bimbos and dainty girls (think Cheerleaders/Dancers, as those are the ones he usually dated)...and me, a slightly over-weight, clueless, humble spirited, Tomboy-ish, artistic and somewhat brooding and mysterious, Hermione-like "know it all" didn't have a CHANCE IN HELL. But he was always friendly despite, he'd say hi back, talked to me on occasion, and seemed to not be phased by his buddies constant hazing when he'd go out of his way to be nice back...so I am REALLY confused about today...

I post: "Happy Birthday to ME." on my page, accept Happy Birthday Wishes from other friends/family, comment back and forth, just chit chat stuff about parties, age, and other things--He's got some of those posts that pop up on my page as updates or what-not, so I glance through them, but today is MY day, and because I still consider him one of those "untouchables" I don't really go out of my way to talk to him, post on his link or anything really...I just gave a thumbs up to one of his comments, that's it...and when I returned about an hour later he has completely BLOCKED ME...BLOCKED on Facebook means you could type their name and NOT find them, or see their updates, or even see them as a friend on mutual friends pages...and I am left wondering WHY? Send me back to the "rejection" days, FOR SURE! I know it shouldn't matter AT ALL--He's just an untouchable who suddenly (probably) remembers who I am/was and/or had some of his then/still buddies buzzing in his ears about how much of a loser I am/was...or it could even be as stupid as a jealous girlfriend deleting his friend-girls on his list...who will ever know for sure--certainly NOT me.

I should just chalk it off to immaturity on his behalf, and being 26-27 himself it really DOES equate to some sort of single guy immaturity level or who knows. He had me on his friend's list since I got on FaceBook about 2-3 months ago, and he's obviously seen my posts the last few months if they popped up on his page...so the only other thing I could think of that made him shut me out was that I talked about Tattoos with my cousin today, and that's something I haven't said anything about prior--and maybe he thinks Tattooed women are "trashy" or something and threw my access out with the trash?

Oh well, it still hurts the "feel bads" for being so obviously rejected (AGAIN)...that's okay though, because people like him figure it out SOME DAY...but maybe not for another 10+ years of playing Play-Boy-Toy. I have a MATURE man in my life...who loves me, cherishes me, and IS HOT too...so life's not ALL that bad today...and I am 27, so I get to be a birthday girl today! AND I consider the WHOLE month of October MY MONTH...Halloween's coming...then Thanksgiving...Fall is MY favorite time of year and this little blip can't change THAT!

Has anyone else suffered a "Blocked Rejection" on something so public as FaceBook?